IHOP onething

Heading to Kansas City tomorrow for the IHOP onething conference. But I am not really looking forward to the conference strangely enough. I am just thirsty for undivided attention and time with Jesus, so I am aiming to abide in the prayer room through most of the sessions. I may visit a teaching or two, but I do not see the use.

I realized that I am very good at gathering knowledge and redistributing teachings, but not too diligent with eating the Word and applying TRUTH.

It saddens me to even say it, but it is the hard truth, and my most recent 'epiphany'. So I am hoping to discipline myself in sitting at His feet, diving into the Word myself, and allowing God to prune me and provide revelation. I looong for consistency. I am a rushing wind being blown about by every doctrine and spiritual musing.. a young Peter, that has not yet learnt the importance of LIVING FILLED with the Holy Spirit.

I am a young disciple that KNOWS NOTHING, and am now happy to say that. For only in acknowledging my lack will I return to THE SOURCE and abide there until I have drank my fill.

Pray for me as I go.
MARANATHA.


Revelation 21:6
And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.

Where the Name Comes From..

I'm a Jack in the Box

Right now, I am a bag of emotions, so this may not be the best time to write a blog. But hey, I am at work and cannot pull out my physical journal... so I had to resort to the electrical one.

For the past two years since graduating from UF, I have had zero goals and vision for my life, except daily being faithful with finances, friendships and Father's sheep. I had no long-term plan. I heard nothing else, so I did nothing else -- not an easy task living in a college town with everyone receiving acheivements and visions of conquering the world.

I explored every nook and cranny of missions, careers, 'full-time' ministry, and the marketplace. I heard the full spectrum of advice including "wait", "go ahead and start something", "God gives you free choice" and "pray and fast more"... but I had no peace about stepping in any direction.

Saying this was a difficult season would be a severe understatement. But I must say God provided much grace and PEACE -- which was all I needed. The fact that I had peace was surprising even to me, and definitely the only thing that countered my bouts of frustration with feeling unaccomplished. Just looking back at this lets me know that God was happy with me exactly where I was.

But a new day is dawning.

Today I felt a flicker of passion and dissatisfaction rise up in me. Passion and dissatisfaction. Two words that have not graced my taste buds in awhile, but today I got a full portion of that manna -- and I am rejoicing like it's the first rains of a famine. Because it is.

Whereas passion and dissatisfaction do not mean EVERYTHING, they can form a reliable compass of God's hand-made calling on your life when combined with the Word and the Holy Spirit.

I will not spill too much. But let's just say I'm excited!! :-D

To quote a recent favorite artist:
"I'm ready to pop, I'm ready to drop, busting out this hole, and let the world know I'm a Jack in the Box.
Waiting for my Lord to crank my crank and expose me, present me righteous and holy, and let the world know...
I'm a Jack in the Box."
-Mali Music



References:
"I will not set before my eyes
anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me."
-Psalm 101:3

"At the cross-section of your sweet spot and this holy anguish you will probably find the signs of your calling."
-Pastor Mike

"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!"
-Psalm 31:24

My Life's Desire --- ONETHING

7 Verses that I want to shape my life:

1) "But ONETHING is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion which will not be taken away from her."
--Luke 10:42

2) "Not that I have already attained this, or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But ONETHING I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead."
--Phil 3:12-13

3) "ONETHING have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple."
--Psalm 27:4

4) "Or else let these men themselves say what wrongdoing they found when I stood before the council, other than this ONETHING that I cried out while standing among them: 'It is with respect to the resurrection of the dead that I am on trial before you this day.'"
--Acts 24:20-21

5) "He answered, 'whether he is a sinner I do not know. ONETHING I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.'"
--John 9:25

6) "John answered , 'A person cannot receive ONETHING unless it is given him from heaven.'"
--John 3:27

7) "And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, 'You lack ONETHING: go sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come follow me.'"
--Mark 10:21

Does God Find You Attractive?

Contrary to popular belief, God is NOT attracted to any and everything, not even if the name Christian is slapped on it. As people love to quote: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", and yes God beholds those things that are right in His eyes... and enjoys only those things. He is a gentleman with standards also. He doesn't degrade/ prostitute himself.. so He seeks out men and women that are pleasing in His sight -- His eyes -- His beholding -- His standard of beauty.

God is teaching me that He does not unequally yolk Himself, but only draws near to those who invite His Spirit and His Truth; so to love me, He must prune me (Rev 3:19). If I am to remain in His jealous gaze, I must remain in His refining fire (Deut 4:24). If I am to be His lover, all other lovers must be abandoned (Hosea 2:7,14,16). To please him, I must obey and allow Him to finish His work in me both "to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Phil 2:13).

And yes, to be noticed by God, I must come away from the crowd... I must come alone.
*smiles and runs off to be with my beloved...


REFERENCES and PROMISES
Numbers 23:9
For from the top of the rocks I see him, And from the hills I behold him; There! A people dwelling alone, Not reckoning itself among the nations.

2 Corinthians 5:9
Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him.
(Whether I feel Him present or not, whether I'm seen by others or am in secret).

1 Thessalonians 2:4
But as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts.

1 John 3:22
And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.

Matthew 12:18“ Behold! My Servant whom I have chosen, My Beloved in whom My soul is well pleased! I will put My Spirit upon Him, And He will declare justice to the Gentiles.

John 8:29
And He who sent Me is with Me. The Father has not left Me alone, for I always do those things that please Him.

Romans 8:8
So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

1 Corinthians 7:32,34
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord... There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.

2 Corinthians 12:10
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Ephesians 6:6
not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,

1 Corinthians 14:1
you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; 2 for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

Why Do I Pursue Him

My Journal Entry for 9/27/08... Discovered it this morning (2/9/09) while Honeymooning with the Lord and wanted to record.. my first Youtube vid :-X

...uncombed hair, chapped lips and all, because I just crawled out of bed and turned on the camera.. so grace :-)

Ex-Masturbator T-Shirt is here!!!

The video says it all... time to get the TRUTH out!