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Thursday, June 11, 2009

I'm a Jack in the Box

Right now, I am a bag of emotions, so this may not be the best time to write a blog. But hey, I am at work and cannot pull out my physical journal... so I had to resort to the electrical one.

For the past two years since graduating from UF, I have had zero goals and vision for my life, except daily being faithful with finances, friendships and Father's sheep. I had no long-term plan. I heard nothing else, so I did nothing else -- not an easy task living in a college town with everyone receiving acheivements and visions of conquering the world.

I explored every nook and cranny of missions, careers, 'full-time' ministry, and the marketplace. I heard the full spectrum of advice including "wait", "go ahead and start something", "God gives you free choice" and "pray and fast more"... but I had no peace about stepping in any direction.

Saying this was a difficult season would be a severe understatement. But I must say God provided much grace and PEACE -- which was all I needed. The fact that I had peace was surprising even to me, and definitely the only thing that countered my bouts of frustration with feeling unaccomplished. Just looking back at this lets me know that God was happy with me exactly where I was.

But a new day is dawning.

Today I felt a flicker of passion and dissatisfaction rise up in me. Passion and dissatisfaction. Two words that have not graced my taste buds in awhile, but today I got a full portion of that manna -- and I am rejoicing like it's the first rains of a famine. Because it is.

Whereas passion and dissatisfaction do not mean EVERYTHING, they can form a reliable compass of God's hand-made calling on your life when combined with the Word and the Holy Spirit.

I will not spill too much. But let's just say I'm excited!! :-D

To quote a recent favorite artist:
"I'm ready to pop, I'm ready to drop, busting out this hole, and let the world know I'm a Jack in the Box.
Waiting for my Lord to crank my crank and expose me, present me righteous and holy, and let the world know...
I'm a Jack in the Box."
-Mali Music

"I will not set before my eyes
anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me."
-Psalm 101:3

"At the cross-section of your sweet spot and this holy anguish you will probably find the signs of your calling."
-Pastor Mike

"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!"
-Psalm 31:24


Gayon said...

Hey Robyn-ster!

I like your blog alot!!
God is all over you and I'm getting really excited for you!
Make sure you visit my blog too! Okay poo-key. As always, grace and peace!

hispurl said...

mannn im excited :)

CrossEyed Robyn said...

YAY for more bloggers!!!

Kingdom bloggers Unite!!!

Mireille said...

oooooh Robyn!! I'm excited!! I can't wait to see what Abba is doing!!

CrossEyed Robyn said...

I'm excited too :)